Off Piste

It must be the absence of even a half-decent mole hill in these parts but it seems that once winter sticks its icy claws in, a lot of Dutch eyes and minds turn south to distant slopes. Now I can’t remember if Brits have the same obsession or maybe I just moved in different circles, but the whole thing is just, well, weird!

Over the last few months,  I’ve listened bemused as my colleagues have banged on excitedly about their forthcoming skiing trips. (It always seems to be Austria).  It’s a big tradition apparently.  

1. Book week off work.  

2. Chuck everything in Volvo.  

3. Aim car south until hit snow and big hills.  

4. Ski.  

5. Drink.  

6. Chuck everything in Volvo  

7. Drive back 

8. Book another trip 

Speaking as someone who has always had the graceful balance of bambi on ice, I’ve absolutely no interest in chucking myself off distant mountains in the name of fun.  Just too much effort, too cold, too expensive and of course, way too dangerous. 

The whole Dutchie approach to holidays in general is a bit strange.  In the UK we might start a conversation by remarking how dull/exciting the weather has been/is going to be.  Here in NL, it often begins with asking where and when you’re planning on going on holiday.  

And if your response is that you haven’t thought about it yet or worse, you’re actually not going on holiday, be prepared for a shocked or pitying look.  And then the conversation will likely be over.  And you’ll be ignored and probably whispered about in the cheese shop from then on.

The Dutch live from holiday to holiday. In the winter they ski (twice) and in the summer they head off to Gran Canaria.  Amazingly, they even get “holiday money” every May from the government to pay for it.  

Admittedly this is actually their own money which is removed from their salary by employers throughout the year and then given back in a lump sum in May.   It’s almost as if the state doesn’t trust people to save their own money....

Regardless, it is almost a state sponsored duty for all dutch citizens to go and have fun abroad 2-3 times a year.  And they certainly don’t need a second invitation!  

So in a far-flung bar or pool sometime soon, you’re sure to never be far from a lowlander.  

If you can’t beat them, join them!  Just don’t ask me to go anywhere near a ski resort.